Monogamy, Conformity, and the Loss of the Wild Erotic Lover

How many of us are lost and alone in monogamous relationships with our work, friends, partners, lovers, and ourselves?

How many of us are bound by conformity and shame keeping us from playing poetic licks that would rival the likes of Neruda, Frost, Whyte, Rilke, and Rumi?

How many of us have never and will never allow ourselves to fall wildly, erotically, sensually, and romantically in love with this wild world, because of what that might ask?

We all were born with an undomesticated wild lover as our twin, which at birth was thrown out the window and banished far out into the wild edge of existence. If you would ask your mother or father of this wild twin, they would for certain and with sincere truth tell you that they know nothing of the sort. They do that so to protect themselves from their own pain of banishing this part of you.

Your mother’s midwife may reluctantly and vaguely recount of some embarrassing small snake or tatterhood infant holding a wood spoon riding a goat yelling, “meat” that fell from your mother’s womb on that sacred day.  Although, she too would dismiss such a claim that this wild, erotic, twin lover exists somewhere out in this wild world.

You may have encountered glimpses of this twin in your dreams filled with longing, desire, and lust so deeply alluring that it terrifies you to the bone. You may have touched this power inside yourself – much like an intimate lover who knows the way to bring you into full embodied ecstasy. Or, maybe stumbled upon this lover deep in the wilderness as this one seduced and coaxed out of you tears of grief and delight, which you were so lost in that you were unable to know where your tears ended and the Earth’s began.

Many go through life not even knowing that there is such a thing as this twin, dragging their feet like walking ghost, unaware of the gaping hole in their soul.  Yet, as a mature soulful human, your task is to find your twin. To reunite, and make vows to this holy other, in a marriage that pales all marriages.

This unique and particular mythopoetic wisdom oscillating at your core is not meant for only one other, it is for the whole wild world. It’s meant to be spread like a wild seed all over the Earth.  Yet, the majority linger lost in the aloneness, displaced and confused. This program place in our psyche, monogamy, alienates us with the expectation for all of our needs to be met by just one person and believing that all of our gifts, energy, and desire are only meet for one singular other.  Your wild beloved dismisses such a claim.

“Your gifts are meant for the Wild World,” She cries at sunset with thirteen Night Hawks swirling overhead.

Will you let yourself fall from Eden, be tempted by the marine monster, premortal snake, dragon, cosmic waters, darkness, night, or death? This is what our time are calling for. Not to get lost in the light, but to surrender in the well of longing, allurement, and terror. Will you surrender everything to write poetry to the Mystery as if your life depends on it? Will you fall fully into the descent where the world turns 180 degrees, upside down, wrapping you in her cloak, and burying you alive into the womb of the Earth?

There in the darkness, awaiting your arrival, she will come alive. This seductress that you called Fear, will show her true face and take you to the edges of life and death. If you are lucky, in the morning, with rising of the sun in the east, you will stretch your wings for the first time, flying out into an expansiveness, the place your bones always longed to inhabit, singing and dancing the gifts that only you can deliver to the awaiting lover that is the Wild World.

Many Blessings Dancing on Wild Edges,


By |2017-07-04T18:36:54+00:00July 4th, 2017|Categories: Contemplation, Inner Life, Practice|Tags: , , , |

About the Author:

Joseph Paul McCaffrey is an Ecopsychologist and Soulcentric Guide working out of Prescott, Arizona. He has an M.S. in Counseling and Ecopsychology, and an M.A. in Educational Psychology.